Children Bloopers

Weird News : Money from Heavens

Cash raining down from the heavens might have seemed like a Christmas gift, but anyone in this western Massachusetts town who grabbed some of it is being asked to please give it back. The money, totaling $1,100 belonged to 83-year-old lady, Mary Olive Corbiere, who was banking on it to buy Christmas presents and lost it after a freak accident.
Corbiere had left a drugstore Tuesday and was putting her bags in her car when a wind gust pushed her shopping cart — still containing her purse and cane — into the back of a nearby delivery truck.
The cart somehow became stuck in a rear wheel well before the truck pulled away and disappeared into traffic. “Everything was normal, then I turned around and the cart had taken off,” said Corbiere, a retired English teacher and nurse.
The cart was dragged for blocks along one of the town’s busiest thoroughfares as the driver, oblivious to what had occurred, headed to the next delivery. Witnesses told police that when the purse finally burst open, strangers stopped and grabbed the fluttering currency, which Corbiere had withdrawn for holiday shopping and bills.
Officers found Corbiere’s tattered checkbook and cane — but little cash. They are urging people not to be Grinches and return any of the money they might have found. “We’re hoping people will do the right thing,” police Sgt. Charles Dodge said.
Corbiere, though, isn’t waiting around for the money’s return. She headed to the bank Wednesday to get a new checkbook and make another withdrawal. She didn’t even bother to retrieve the battered purse from police.
“That’s no use to me now,” she said. “What I really needed badly is my cane, and I am lucky I did get that back.” Well eventhough the season is upon us I don’t think much of this money will be returned.

Healthy at 100!

Instant Abs

Riddle #12

What gives you the power to walk through walls?
A door!

Riddle #11

What did the ocean say to the beach ?

Nothing. It just waved!

Human Race

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race come about?" The Mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve; they had children and, so all mankind was made." A few days later, the little girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them." The confused girl returns to her mother and says, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God , and Papa says we developed from monkeys?" The Mother answers, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his side."

Hands up or...

Dyslexia

Royal Trip

Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip are entertaining the King and Queen of Tonga, during the visit they accept a customary ride in the horse drawn cart around the grounds of Sandringham Castle. During the trip one of the horses farts and the sound and smell carries all the way through the cart to the royals. Embarrassed by this, the queen whispers in Phillip's ear "do you think I should mention that to our guests?". Phillip agrees saying "yes, that would be a good idea". So the queen leans over to the the King of Tonga and says: "please do excuse me, I'm very embarrassed about that", to which the king of Tonga replies, "that's ok ma'am, I thought it was the horse".

Weird News : Yummy Discovery

A man in Florida was halfway through an order of steamed clams when he bit down on something hard, it was a rare, iridescent purple pearl. George Brock and his wife, Leslie, had been spent the day at the beach Friday in South Florida and stopped at Dave’s Last Resort & Raw Bar for a bite. Their discovery is thought to be valued at $6,000 US or more. The gems are found most frequently in large New England quahogs, clams known for violet coloring on the inside of their shells. The clams in the $10 plate came from Apalachicola in the Florida Panhandle, said restaurant manager Tom Gerry.

Attending a Funeral can be funny...

Riddle #10

What does a farmer use to count his cattle?
A COWculator!

Riddle #9

Which is faster: Hot or Cold?
Hot, 'cause you can catch a cold!

Easter Comes Once a Year

Baby Biker!!

Plural of Child ??

"What is the plural of man, Willie? " asked the teacher.
"Men" he answered,
"And what is the plural of child? "
" Twins " replied Willie again

Same Dog

Teacher: " This essay on your dog is, word to word, the same as your brother's ."
Student: " Yes Sir, Its the same dog."

Good Start.. Poor Ending

The Law of Gravity

A school kid asks his teacher, "Is it true that the law of gravity keeps us on earth ?", The teacher replied, "Yes."
the kid asked, "Then what kept us before the law was passed.

Psychology Courses

A New teacher, trying to make use of her psychology courses started her class by saying, " Anyone who thinks he's stupid, stand up." After a few seconds, Johnny stood up. The teacher said, do you think you're stupid, Johnny ?" "No Miss" he said. But i hate to see you standing up there all by yourself." !!

Vowels in English words ??

There are several english words that contain all 5 vowels. Can you name one? One contains all the vowels in order. Can you name it?

Education, Euphoria, Precarious, Pneumonia, Ambidextrous, and Unequivocal.
Adventitious. ( all the vowels in order. )

Riddle # 8

What is even smarter than a talking bird?
A Spelling Bee!

Who is the greatest underwater spy?
James POND!

What sickness does a martial artist have?
Kung FLU!

Why are there gates around graveyards?

Because everybody is DYING to get in!

Alchoholic

101 Uses for Raw meat

Poor Ref

Suicidal Teens Wanted by US Army

Basketball Kick

Weird News : Teen recovering from 9-story attempted suicide jump

PHILADELPHIA — A teenager who jumped from his ninth-floor bedroom window in a suicide attempt is recovering, but doctors are unsure whether he will walk again.
Jordan Burnham, 18, still cannot stand on his reconstructed left leg, which was shattered in the Sept. 28 leap from his apartment complex. But his recovery has amazed both him and his doctors.
"Nine stories. It's amazing that I'm still alive," he told The Philadelphia Inquirer for a story in Sunday's editions.
Burnham, a high school senior in King of Prussia outside Philadelphia, was suffering from depression before he jumped out of his bedroom window and hit the ground at 50 mph. He landed on his left side and broke his pelvis, and his left leg was shattered above and below the knee.
His left wrist, skull and jaw were fractured. There was extensive internal bleeding.
"The fact that he fell nine stories certainly puts his survival as sort of an exceptional event," said trauma surgeon Patrick Reilly, who treated Burnham. "Someone who falls nine stories, the majority of those patients should die, many before they ever reach medical attention."
Burnham survived the fall because he landed on earth instead of asphalt, and because he did not land on his head or neck, doctors said. He was also young and fit and received immediate medical attention.
Burnham was treated at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania for 89 days before he was moved to a rehab hospital, where he remains.
With the help of three therapists last week, Burnham stood on his right leg for one minute. Doctors can't promise he'll walk, but won't rule it out.

Riddle #7

The ages of a father and son add up to 66. The father's age is the son's age reversed. How old could they be? (3 possible solutions).

Answer
51 and 15. 42 and 24. 60 and 06.